A reflection on Nancy Baym’s Personal Connections in a Digital Age: Chapter One.
Nancy Baym introduces her book, Personal Connections in a Digital Age (2010), by taking a look at the “new forms of personal connection”(1). She discusses how technology is changing and has changed the nature of human interaction. Baym clearly identifies the new uses of the Internet for personal communication, contrary to its intentional military use:
“The internet was not built as a personal communication medium, let alone a way for fans to connect around their objects of pleasure, for people to find potential romantic partners, for employers to find or investigate potential hires, or any such social processes” (13).
This blog entry will focus on the personal, particularly romantic, relationships that have been previously accused for being shallow.
Amongst the everyday interaction between friends and acquaintances, it is easy to blame modern online tools such as instant messaging and e-mail for the absence of face-to-face communication. However, “the fundamental purpose of communication technologies from their ancient inception has been to allow people to exchange messages without being physically co-present” (2).
Baym believes that physical social cues are among several concepts that differentiate media communications from face-to-face contact. These social cues affect the way messages are interpreted. With the invention of online video call services such as Skype, many of these social cues are sent and received, including: “voice, facial expression, a window into the physical surroundings- but lack critical intimacy cues including touch and smell” (12). This lack of critical intimacy is often one of many factors that define online, long-distance romances.
In some cases, shallow, online relationships can be beneficial to the individual who may be avoiding commitment, but online dating websites are often advertised as a reliable source to communicate with potential lifelong partners. Social networking websites have also been credited for coupling people who have never made face-to-face contact before meeting online. “Long distance romances are built and maintained through electronic contact” (3). However, the song “Love in the Age of Absurdity” by the Saskatchewan indie-pop band, Library Voices, criticizes these “shallow”, electronic relationships. Follow the link below to hear “Love in the Age of Absurdity”:
The song’s lyrics confront common Web 2.0 issues such as false realities and identities behind the screen, the accumulation of so-called “friends” over the Internet, and the idea that once “the familiar becomes unfamiliar” (2), “an age old adage says you can never go home again” (Library Voices). In other words, there is no turning back.
The title of the song, however, is the most significant to the topic of online romances. Perhaps it is absurd that people meet over the Internet, share their information, preferences and identities and fall in love electronically. Perhaps it is absurd that people are capable of changing personas from one medium to another. With the advantage of hiding behind a computer screen, people are able to manipulate their identities in order to seem more appealing, attractive and/or intelligent. It is just that simple.
Referring back to Baym’s social cues, nothing compares to the absorption of all the senses to really get to know a person. I believe that two people who come into contact online can have a thriving relationship provided that face-to-face, physical confrontation is made and nourished. I also believe that two people cannot fall in love electronically. Ancient face-to-face communication is essential and often responsible for love. Electronic contact over the Internet should be a tool used through long periods of being apart, but not as the main source of communication for a romantic couple.
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